¡ MUSTACHE-TOPIA !

Like most red blooded americans, we at side of elvis have a facisnation with mustaches.  But not just any mustache, the mustaches that take your breathe away. Here we’ve compiled a list of the best and most awe inspiring mustaches ever known to man. If you don't appreciate this list, you are either blind or a communist (or both).  Without further ado, here are you mustache'd men:  

Tom Selleck

The Sexy ‘Stache

The epitomy of sexy.  If you were a teenage girl in the 1980s, you loved this man…and his mustache. 
when he went shirtless, his glorious chest hair took it to the next level.  Kudos on the no man-scape rule Selleck.

Geraldo Rivera

The Breaking News 'Stache 

Though extremely annoying, his mustache led him to have a great career in the news industry.  My guess is that the day he shaves the stache is the day his career is over.

Rollie Fingers

The Slider ‘Stache

If this doesn’t impress you, you must be blind. I don’t know what was more jaw dropping, the curls that complete this masterpiece or that fact this man is in the major league hall of fame. 

Mike Ditka

  The Super Bowl 'Stache

Ditka didn't display anything too flashy but that’s the point.  Some well groomed upper lip hair can strike fear when coupled with a sweater vest and suit.  He proved that a winner wears a mustache.  Don't you forget it.

Charlie Chaplin

The Silent 'Stache

Chaplin was the first movie star.  Though we have no idea what he sounded like, his mustache did all the talking.  As a pioneer in the entertainment industry he made his style a national icon.  Sadly, a few years later an Austrian didn't get into art school and decided to start his own gang, the Nazis, thus ruining Chaplin's work of art.

Gen. Ambrose Burnside

The Civil 'Stache

Burnside was a general for the Union Army during the Civil War.  He had a mustache so epic that it connected to the hair on his head and coined the term “side burns”.  The Confederates had a big disadvantage without glorious facial hair.  Rumor has it that Burnside was also a sex symbol for his generation, I happen to believe it.  

Mario & Luigi

The Super 'Stache Bros.

We must give credit to the Japanese for creating such awesome characters.  Pioneers of the video game era as well as keepers of the super-stache.   Mario and Luigi are credited with revolutionizing the plumbing industry and passing the first Anti-Koopa Troopa bill in the mid 1980s. 

Albert Einstein

The Theory of Mustachivity

Some say Einstein grew the world’s smartest mustache (its never been officially recorded) but theres no arguing that his upper lip kept warm in the winter.  If the smartest man of the last 200 years grew a sick mustache, why isn't it mandatory for all college students?   

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Mustache of Equality

MLK had a dream to rid the world of inequality among people.  Though it is usually not taught to children, facial hair equality was part of his famous speech.  Simplicity was the key when it came to growing a successful mustache, according to King.    

Reggie Jackson

Mr. Octoberstache

Not only a great baseball player, Reggie Jackson was a great facial hair grower as well.  Jackson was famous for his off-field behavior with his teammates and coaches but boy could he launch a home run.  He may go down as one of the most clutch baseball players of the 80’s but his snazzy 'stache has its own place in baseball lore.

Larry Bird

The Invisi-Stache 

Larry Bird rocked a mustache for much of his playing career but not many people noticed.  He grew enough peach fuzz below his nose to legally claim he had a mustache.  Bird once told a reporter that it took him more time to grow a mustache than it did to master the game of basketball.  At least he had one thing going for him. 

Ron Jeremy

Stan Van Gundy

Porn-Stache

As crazy as this next fact sounds, it is true: despite being two different people, these two men are actually the same.  Their mustaches are equally impressive.  Ron Jeremy owns the classic “porn-stache” thanks to his illustrious adult film career.  Van Gundy reps a similar style mustache (and body).  Van Gundy rose to coaching stardom because he sat behind his brother Jeff until he was thrown a job.  He rode on the coattails of Jeff Van Gundy's coaching and Ron Jeremy's looks.  Ouch.

Hulk Hogan

Mustache-Mania

At the height of Hulkamania,this mustache stood second to none.  The handlebar struck fear into opposing wrestlers and inspired many eight year olds to clothesline their younger siblings.  As time wore on the Hulk lost his appeal.  Now this style is saved mostly for bikers and douches­ -- but hey it’s still manly.






So there you have it, our favorite mustaches.  What do you think? Who's your favorite? Did we leave out someone near and dear to your heart?  Let us know!


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